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Hammer Time?

Ba Humbug for West Ham's opposition...

It doesn’t happen very often.  But sometimes, I get it wrong.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  You’re saying to your computer screen, “That’s not true, Brent.  You’re being modest.  Give your head a shake and have a beer on me…”

Alas, faithful readers, I have erred. It turns out that I am not the reliable prognasticator I once thought I was.  And it’s all thanks to a certain Israeli manager who manages a certain East London club.

I had predicted in early December that Avram Grant would be fired by Christmas.  West Ham were at the bottom of the table and were up against the wall.  I said how the holiday swing was going to kill the team — and the career of the gaffer.  Indeed, through December and the first half of January, with the Hammers going 2-3-3, it seemed like curtains for both Grant and the club’s Premier League hopes.

But then a couple of cup runs seemed to give the Irons a spark.  They won their 3rd round FA Cup tie against Burnley 2-0.  Then three days later, they beat fellow Premier League strugglers Birmingham in the first leg of the League Cup semi-final.  Since then, they have gone 5-2-3 in all competitions.

It could be that Avram Grant finally has a team that is “too good to go down”.   The team has scored thirteen goals in their last four games.  It’s likely no coincidence that this spurt is due to the arrival of striker Demba Ba (you don’t say his name, so much as let it spill out of your mouth) from TSG Hoffenheim in February.  In the five games he has played, both Ba and strike partner Carlton Cole have each scored four goals.

Parker does his Christian Bale impression...

But the keystone of West Ham’s mini-turnaround has to be Scott Parker.  The midfielder and captain has been bossing the centre of the park, marshalling his teammates both physically and mentally as they have clawed their way out of the relegation zone… at least for the time being.  Many of his teammates — as well as English pundits — say Parker should be named Player of the Year for his pluck in the face of West Ham’s dreadful first half of the season results.

I’m not going to say that they won’t go down.  West Ham are only just above Brum in the relegation zone… and the Blues still have two games in hand.  The Hammers still have to face Spurs, Chelsea and Man City away, as well as play first-place Manchester United at home. Plus, they still have to continue their FA Cup run, facing sinking Stoke again for the second time in a week.

With the Boleyn Ground averaging about 33-thousand fans a season — and the brand spanking new Olympic stadium waiting to be taken over — West Ham is a biggish club that thinks it has a brighter future.  I’d tell you where that future lies… but I’m afraid of being wrong again.  That would be just scary…

Brent Lanthier

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Of insults and injuries


After an international break that saw several England players stretchered off with injuries, it’s back to business in the Prem this weekend. And right at the top of the schedule is what could be a volatile affair at Goodison Park, if Man. United’s repentant Wayne Rooney puts in an appearance at his former stomping grounds. Verbal stomping is sure to fly from the stands as the onetime Donkey of South Africa, now the Big Man of Basel, makes his Merseyside return. United lost 3-1 the last time they paid a visit to David Moyes’ men, who have just one point from three games.

Former United coach Carlos Queiroz may be feeling a bit insulted today, having been sacked as manager of Portugal, one week after he was hit with a six-month ban for disrupting a drug test. His lawyer is already on the case, looking for compensation.

And Serie A footballers are so insulted by new transfer limitations that they’re threatening to strike. AC Milan defender Massimo Oddo, spokesman for the player’s association, said the shut down is scheduled for Sept. 25 and 26.

But back to those unfortunate souls being stretchered off as England beat Bulgaria and Switzerland. First to go was the unfortunate Michael Dawson, expected to miss six weeks. The old Wheeler Dealer Arry Redknapp had barely finished writing ‘Gallas’ in his next team sheet when Jermain Defoe, fresh off his hat trick last Friday, was carried off in Switzerland with an injured ankle. He’s now expected to miss the entire Champions League group stage, which begins Tuesday at Bremen. The only comfort for Spurs is that Bremen defender Per Metersacker has picked up a knock on international duty and won’t be fit.

In between Dawson and Defoe’s stretcher-assisted departures, Arsenal’s Theo Walcott was carried off with an injured ankle while the aforementioned Rooney was still celebrating his Swiss strike. It’s turning into a bit of a rough go for the Gunners, with Robin Van Persie set to miss six weeks and Nicklas Bendtner still sidelined.

There was international injury pain for Liverpool, too, with Dirk Kuyt shelved with a sore shoulder.

And finally, there’s Becks, who still harbours hopes of future England glory, despite mixed messages from the gaffer, and who is close to shaking off his own injury woes and returning to the pitch for the LA Galaxy, who host Columbus on Saturday night. LA, Salt Lake and the Crew are all tied atop the league with 44 points, although RSL has played one more game. TFC, who have seven matches to go, are currently in ninth place, out of the playoffs, with six Western teams competing to qualify. Toronto is home to DC United on Saturday.

Ian Harrison

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