Sorry, Fulham fans. Apparently the history of your football club is so thin and weak that there’s no one from your inglorious past to immortalize with a statue outside your West London stadium. But it gets worse: your wacky owner feels the need to fill that empty space with a (simply dreadful) statue of deceased drug addict and child-molesting pop star Michael Jackson, who attended one (yes, one) FFC match back in 1999. And there’s more. At this weekend’s unveiling, when footy fans and even art critics got their backs up about this nonsense, that same crazy conspiracy theorist, better known as Mohamed Al Fayed, called you all “stupid” for questioning his choice of Craven Cottage imagery, and tells you to “go to hell.” If distressed Fulham supporters decide to take Al Fayed up on that offer, at least they won’t have far to go: Chelski’s ground is less than a mile down the road.