Category Archives: Uncategorized

by | February 6, 2012 · 8:00 am

Liverpool on the Edge

Kenny welcomes back his prodigal hijo..

Two-thirds into the season, the jury is still out on Liverpool. Has the storied club moved one step closer to its former exalted position? Or does Kenny Dalglish have his team running to stand still while other clubs leapfrog over the fallen giants?

One of the clubs on the rise is Tottenham Hotspur.  “Wheeler-Dealer” ‘Arry Redknapp has built a team that sits in third place, and — along with Manchester City — has displaced long-time Top 4 residents Chelsea and Arsenal.   It is hard not to see them in the group stages of the Champions League come September, but there are no guarantees.  Meanwhile, five points separate four teams for the last CL spot.  So today’s game at Anfield may be rich with meaning and consequence for both sides.

But where are the Reds exactly? They have reached one cup final, and have bested a mighty rival to progress in another.  The club has stated that its goal is Champions League football… but they have to go through the aforementioned Chelsea and Arsenal, as well as fight off the football renaissance going on in the country’s Northeast.  Newcastle were supposed to collapse after the £35 million sale of Andy Carroll to the Reds, and the defection of Kevin Nolan to play for his old boss, Sam Allardyce.  But in a case of addition through subtraction (and the smart pickup of Demba Ba), the Magpies are keeping pace.  Meanwhile, Martin O’Neill is weaving that Ol’ Black Magic with the Black Cats: Sunderland are 8-2-3 under the Irishman.

In hope of making sense of  Liverpool’s season, let’s look at the numbers.

- Liverpool have six more points than this time last year.  But in comparable games played, they are -1.  In other words, when you take all the matches they’ve played this year and compared them to the games from last year against the same teams, they are behind.

- The Reds’ record against Top 10 teams is trending to be about the same (just better than 50%), but they have improved against the lower half.

- Their away record has improved significantly, while their home record is worse.  Liverpool have yet to lose at Anfield this year, but they have frustrated fans by drawing a league-leading seven times at home.

- Liverpool’s goal difference is +7 compared to 0 at this time last year.  But they have scored three fewer goals.  A year ago the ranked fifth in offence, sixth in defence.  This year, they are one of the stingiest sides in the Prem, but are 12th in goals scored.  Fulham, Villa and Blackburn have all scored more than the Reds.

And therein lies the problem.   After spending over £100m on players like Andy Carroll, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Luis Suarez, the offence has gone backwards.  Carroll and Henderson are young players wilting under the pressure and excessive price tags. Charlie Adam seems to have been a big fish in Blackpool’s small pond.  And Suarez has been dubious in both play and disposition, letting shots go errant while embroiling himself in several controversies.

However, there appear to be several lights in the fog.  A player who is no stranger to discipline problems himself, Craig Bellamy seems to have been settled down by Dalglish, his boyhood idol. He now leads the team in scoring… not bad for a player who’s started half the games on the bench.  Jose Enrique — another wantaway from St. James’ Park — has admirably filled the long-time void at left back, and may be the team’s Player of the Year.

Is it enough?  Spurs have amassed a midfield and defence that are as good as any in the league, and snapping up Brad Friedel in the supposed twilight of his career looks like a stroke of genius.  But Liverpool have yet to lose at Anfield this season.  The talismanic Steven Gerrard will be in the line-up, and Suarez returns after his long stay in the corner, hopefully with something to prove.

If they win the Carling Cup (likely), win the FA Cup (maybe) but don’t reach the Champions League, will this have been a successful season? Or will Kenny have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and decide whether he’s the man to lead his team back to the promised land?  Tonight’s game may go a long way to answering those questions.

My prediction: 2-2.

Brent Lanthier

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by | September 3, 2011 · 4:09 pm

Achtung! Die böbies…

We here at At The Rails believe in gender equality in sport… that female footballers are often given short shrift when it comes to media coverage and funding.  This year’s Women’s World Cup final between Japan and the U.S. was as thrilling as anything offered up by their male counterparts.

However, we are also very very very weak.  That’s why we are posting a link to a calendar that features scantily-clad German footballers.  We would like to tell you that publications like these add to the objectification of women and delegitimizes their training and efforts… but we won’t.

We just like fit and beautiful girls.  Cheers.

http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/874171-german-women-footballers-pose-for-calendar-warning-attractive-images

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by | June 20, 2011 · 9:56 pm

Second Chances: Birmingham City

Big Eck has a GOB moment: "I've made a huge mistake..."

Oh Birmingham City, we’ve seen this before.  After a 16-season stint in the lower divisions, the Blues were promoted in 2002… and then finished three seasons mid-table, before enduring four more yo-yo years into the Championship and back.  Yet last season was supposed to be different. Under the guidance of Carson Yeung and Alex McLeish, Brum finished a respectable ninth in 2010 with a stingy defence and a young keeper on-loan.  Who cared if they couldn’t score? It was a new era.

Ugh. Fast forward 12 months.  Despite their first trophy in almost 50 years, and an appearance in the FA Cup semi-final, Brum rode a train of mediocrity into relegation.  Before their historic victory over Arsenal in the Carling Cup final, City were 6-12-9.  The 30 points weren’t great… but it left them only a handful of wins away from the magic safety zone of 40.  But after that,  Birmingham only won twice in their last 12 matches… including three straight losses at the end to send them down, allowing Wigan (ugh) and Wolves to remain.

Now McLeish’s defection to hated Aston Villa has fans on both sides of Birmingham screaming Blue murder.   But unlike other serious rivalries, the teams’ exposure to each other has been spotty over the years… while the Second City derby features a couple of key players that have swapped shades of  blue,  with a lot of claret thrown in.

Ridgewell can't believe McLeish left him at City. COME. ON.

One such player is the sensational Liam Ridgewell, who joined Birmingham from Aston Villa in 2007.    The left back scored as many goals as the club’s strikers this season, which is probably a statement on both Ridgewell’s talent and the dire situation in Birmingham’s attack.  Ridgewell signed a new contract last summer… but West Brom have come calling, offering £3 million.   City thinks he’s worth more,  and so does this writer.  The big clubs could do worse than pick up him up.

After 200 matches, Sebastian Larsson is set to leave the Blues, having declined a new contract with the relegated side.  His father says the right winger has signed at Sunderland for Steve Bruce… the man who brought the Swede to St. Andrews in the first place. 

England back-up keeper Ben Foster is no youngster… but has always seemed a star-in-waiting.  Foster performed admirably this season, replacing his contemporary Joe Hart in net with one of the league’s highest save percentages, while facing the second-most shots.  Foster is a Premier League keeper, plain and simple.  I will make a call and say this West Midlander will follow McLeish to Villa.

Roger Johnson and Scott Dann would have received England call-ups, had it not said “Birmingham City” on their badges.  Roger Johnson started almost every match for the Brummies, while Scott Dann had his season cut short by injuries.  Both will likely get a sniff from the big clubs, including Dann, a Scouser whose name is creating rumbles at Anfield.  Meanwhile, Johnson is tough and good in the air.  Both made it onto the score sheet… and neither are afraid of a booking now and then.

Birmingham’s skipper — Stephen Carr — is 34… kind of up there in football years.  But the right back was the lynch pin for the club’s excellent defence: the Irishman started almost as many games as Johnson.  It’s likely he will stay because a) he has extended his contract by a year, and b) his former coach at Spurs and Ireland — Chris Hughton — is the front runner to take McLeish’s place.  Still… Carr’s performance this year merits another kick at the Premiership can.

Do you know which Villa player led the club in fouls and yellow cards? Ashley Young (stop snickering!).  Now that the team’s “hard man” (uncontrollable guffawing) looks bound for Manchester United, and Nigel Reo-Coker (a man who actually would give us nightmares, were we would good enough to play Premier League football) has been released, the club needs some steel in the middle.  Cue Barry Ferguson…

Gardner tries the old hand-over-the-badge trick...

Finally, we have Craig Gardner — Birmingham’s answer to Steven Gerrard, circa Istanbul.  Gardner led his team in both goals and infractions this past seaon.  In a Robbie Keane-like obfuscation, Gardner has claimed to be a lifelong Villa or City fan — depending where he’s playing.  Yet he could still return to Villa Park.  After the vitriol that’s greeted Big Eck, the move would likely have Lions fans foaming at the mouth.   However, he has been linked with a move to the Northeast, either Newcastle or Sunderland.

Brent Lanthier

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by | June 7, 2011 · 8:30 am

Best of the Premier League: Tottenham to Wolves

After the excitement of the transfer market wore off, 'Arry spent two hours looking for his teeth...

In the final installment of the team analyses, I cover a team that slipped from glory, one that found some redemption… and three others that struggled all season. 

Sesame Street Alert: Premiership players may not want to sign for a team that starts with the letters “B” or “W”  (Blackburn, Blackpool, Birmingham, West Ham, Wolverhampton, Wigan)

Even Modric doesn't know where he'll be next season...

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
Luka Modric (CRO) — Despite the Wheeler Dealer’s lamentations about being the poor cousin of the Premier League, Spurs had a mighty roster of offensive players that tantalized their fans.  The purchase of Rafael Van der Vaart looked to be a stroke of brilliance, while Champions League football seemed to bring out the best in Gareth Bale. But after much reflection — and I admit, many consultations with fellow writers — I have to go with Luka Modric.  The playmaker fed the engine when Spurs were scoring, and kept the ship afloat when the offence faded away.  It is no small compliment that SAF hopes to bring in Modric to replace United legend Paul Scholes.

"And then I want a stack of money thissssssss big. And a pony. And a fire engine..."

WEST BROMWICH ALBION
Peter Odemwingie (NIG) — The Baggies were lingering near the bottom of the table before the arrival of Roy Hodgson, but that’s not for lack of effort from Odemwingie.  The Uzbek-born Nigerian found the back of the net 15 times, with seven helpers, over 29 matches.  That’s a goal every two games. Not bad for a “rookie”.

Parker watches as the Prem leaves him behind

WEST HAM UNITED
Scott Parker (ENG) — He wasn’t the Hammers’ most prolific scorer (that would be Demba Ba, who scored seven goals in 11 appearances).  But Parker was right there in the middle of the park, marshalling his team in their futile struggle to stay in the Prem.  He led the team with nine yellow cards, and despite his absence due to injury when his team needed him most, he led West Ham in appearances this year.  Don’t expect Parker to still be wearing claret and sky blue come August, unless of course it’s for Aston Villa.

If I were Charlie Zog, I'd be smiling as well...

WIGAN ATHLETIC
Charles N’Zogbia (FRA) — Don’t ask me how Wigan managed to remain in the Premier League again, because they are a piss-poor squad, save for their French midfielder.  N’Zogbia left Newcastle for “bigger things”.  He chose Wigan.  Ahem.  After leading the club with 10 goals and five assists, a slew of offers will likely come in. N’Zogbia should take them.

Three cheers for Matt Jarvis and Wolves

WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS
Matthew Jarvis (ENG) — I bitch and moan at Fabio Capello for his England choices.  He came into the job claiming he would pick players on form, not on the badges they wore.  Yet come game time, the same names appeared on the roster.  But this year, Capello stuck Wolves winger Matt Jarvis into a friendly against Ghana in March.  Bene, Don Fabio. Molte bene.

Tomorrow: My Premier League Starting XI.

Brent Lanthier

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by | June 6, 2011 · 8:30 am

Best of the Premier League: Manchester City to Sunderland

Bent's departure left a bitter taste in Bruce's mouth.

They are now the Kings of England, the most winning club side in domestic history. But Manchester United captured their 19th league title with arguably their weakest side since they started claiming silverware again in 1990. Here is my pick from that team, along with four others.

Tevez: The footballing version of Kung-Fu's Kane...

MANCHESTER CITY
Carlos Tevez (ARG)– Should he stay or should he go? Despite clashing reports of where Tevez will play next season, there was no doubt that the Argentine was the head of a very gifted (and expensive) class. He shared the Golden Boot with Dimitar Berbatov this year, but it just feels like Tevez deserved it more. He scored more in all competitions… and he scored in more games as well.

Vidic won Barclay's Player of the Season

 
MANCHESTER UNITED
Nemanja Vidic (SER) — It may seem strange to not pick a Golden Boot winner on a Championship team, but Berbatov seemed like a poacher to Vidic’s Big Game hunter. The Serb terrorized attacking opponents, while scoring five of his own. He has eclipsed Ferdinand in the backfield, earning him the captain’s armband.
 
 

Nolan keeps puffing away for the Geordies

NEWCASTLE UNITED
Kevin Nolan (ENG) — Nolan’s production tapered off after the departure of Andy Carroll, and he missed the last part of the campaign through injury. But the former Bolton player captained the newly-promoted Magpies to 12th place (it would have been ninth if not for a collapse on the final day to West Brom). Many argue that a club as big as Newcastle should aim high… but this is a team in constant chaos with a nefarious owner. A glut of young options in Fabio Capello’s midfield means Nolan will likely never earn an England cap. Pity.

Slack-jawed Shawcross is bound for Europe

STOKE CITY
Ryan Shawcross (ENG) — Here’s a shock: Stoke’s best player is a defender. Tony Pulis’ side is boring and negative, but they got the job done. Shawcross captained the Potters to a surprise FA Cup final, earning them a taste of Europe next season. Shawcross was one of the most penalized players in the Prem… fitting for a Stoke team that puts the Pulis in “pugilist”.

Will Henderson follow Bent out the door?

SUNDERLAND
Jordan Henderson (ENG) — You can’t help but tie Sunderland’s fortunes to the departed Darren Bent.  Before he left, the Black Cats were chugging along in a very nice seventh place.  But then he went south, and so did Sunderland’s fortunes.  The good news is that Steve Bruce was able to rely on young Henderson for the entire season.  The bad news is that the big clubs are knocking on the door of Wearside… and Henderson may follow them through it.

Tomorrow: Tottenham Hotspur to Wolverhampton Wanderers
Wednesday: My Premier League Starting XI.

Brent Lanthier

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by | June 5, 2011 · 11:57 pm

And all was well with the world…

Not Ian and his missus. But you can still click on the picture for a very nice wedding blog (where I nicked it!).

Congratulations to At The Rails’ Ian Harrison on his marriage. In the name of world — and football — peace, Ian (an Englishman) married an Argentinian woman so far above his station that he gets dizzy every time he comes home. Ha!!

All the best, chap.

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by | June 4, 2011 · 2:23 am

Best of the Premier League: Bolton to Liverpool

Andy Carroll! Andy Carroll! Andy Carroll! Dalglish does a mean imitation of Ruprecht...

For these next five clubs, it was a tale of two seasons.  The two Merseyside clubs — along with Fulham — started awfully before performing some second-half magic… while Chelsea and Bolton were left wondering what could have been.  Here are my picks for their Players of the Season.

Too good for Bolton...

BOLTON WANDERERS
Gary Cahill (ENG) — Despite the Owen Coyle “revolution”, Bolton are still a small club stranded in mediocrity. That is a shame, because on any other team, Gary Cahill would be a coveted old school English centre back. Cahill is being courted by the big clubs and, depending on who you believe, the Yorkshireman is heading for either Manchester or London.

Malouda: Exceptional season

CHELSEA
Florent Malouda (FRA) — Even though the focus on Chelsea has been the drama surrounding their striker “trifecta”, the man who provides service for these poachers was the team’s engine this season. A former star for Olympique Lyonnais, Malouda sat in the shadows until the arrival of Carlo Ancelotti (a man who just suffered the sting of changing loyalties). In the last two seasons, the Frenchman has scored in the double digits. Frankly (pun intended), Malouda has displaced Lampard as Chelsea’s crown jewel.

Good. Very Good. Even without his mum...

EVERTON
Leighton Baines (ENG) — One of the few players from last year’s Best Of list, Baines didn’t get many chances to score. But when he did, he often made it count. The left back played every one of the Toffees’ matches, and he led the team in assists. Ashley Cole might have been afraid for his England spot, except that Baines is afraid of being away from Merseyside for more than two hours.

Feel free to photoshop a horned helmet...

FULHAM
Brede Hangeland (FUL) — I once tried to go drink for drink with a Scandinavian, a former Toronto Maple Leafs defencemen. I thought I was holding my own… but paid for it the next morning. The advice I received? “Don’t f#ck with a Viking.” Fair enough. Fulham’s star centre back was second in scoring for the Cottagers this season, while helping them keep a better goals-against than Liverpool, Everton and Spurs. Skal.

Kuyt punches through into the league's elite

LIVERPOOL
Dirk Kuyt (NED) — Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrun kick runrunrunrunrun tackle runrunrunrunrurnrunrun score. With 13 goals and seven assists, Dirk Kuyt was simply awesome on a team that needed a Liverpool legend to save it.  A hat trick against United sealed the Dutchman’s place in Liverpool lore.

Monday: Manchester City to Sunderland.

Brent Lanthier

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by | March 1, 2011 · 12:48 am

Sing when you’re… well, just sing.

That's right, lads. Put on a brave face...

Derby fans are a bit special, you have to admit it. I know a couple of kids from the East Midlands who might not agree, but the Derby supporters stick with their team through thick and thin. Lately though, it’s been as thin as gruel.

County’s 1-0 victory over Sheffield United on Saturday was its first in 10 matches. That includes their humiliating away defeat to non-league Crawley Town in the FA Cup. But even gaffer Nigel Clough admitted that it was not an inspiring perfomance for the 2,300 fans who made the trip to Yorkshire. Cloughie told a post-game press conference that it was the worst passing he had seen from his team all year.

What’s worse is that the Rams have not won at home since their  3-0 victory over lowly Scunthorpe United on November 20th… the last of six straight victories at Pride Park. 

It’s a bitter pill to swallow for fans who pack the place week in, week out.  Derby averages just over 26,000 fans per game, good enough for 2nd in the Championship… and better than about 40 percent of clubs in the Premier League.  Remember too that these fans were voted the best in English football after an infamous season, when the Rams were relegated with the worst-ever record in the Premier League: just one win and only 11 points.

What has two thumbs and got the hell out of Derby? This guy...

The Rams’ main problem seems to be finding the back of the net, having failed to score in six of their last 10 games.  Perhaps they are rueing the sale of local hero Kris Commons to Celtic last month.  But they boast a solid backline of John Brayford, vice-captain Shaun Barker, Liverpool import Daniel Ayala, and even central midfielder-cum-emergency right-back Paul Green.

Derby County are in that nebulous area of the Championship table, where they are probably safely above the relegation zone — unless their string of bad runs continues.  Their goal difference suggests they are a mid-table team that could go either way. 

That makes Derby not so different from Ipswich, Portsmouth, Coventry City, Bristol City or Barnsley.  It’s great if you are a die-hard supporter of one of these clubs, but really, where’s the fun in it?

Brent Lanthier

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by | January 22, 2011 · 12:50 am

The Wild Rovers No More?

Chimbonda gives his final regards to Lancashire

The putting of pen to paper today by “nice guy” Steve Kean seems to indicate a turning point for Blackburn Rovers: that Ewood Park is shedding its image as a Home for Wayward Boys.

Indeed, the news seemed to cap off what looked like a week of redemption for the club.  Rovers have sold off poor sport Pascal Chimbonda, a whiny wantaway from every team he’s ever played for.  Kean also wondered aloud to reporters whether it might be time to let go of the Human Camel, El-Hadji Diouf.  Those words come just a week after Diouf allegedly stood over QPR player Jamie Mackie, taunting the player as he writhed in pain from a double leg fracture.

Diouf: Couldn't meet a nicer fella...

The truth is that  — in the history of the Premier League — Blackburn has been a place for boys who behave badly.  Out of the players in the top 50 for all-time Premier League fouls, 10 spent time at Rovers.  Out of all-time Prem yellow cards, 12 wore the blue and white.  Of course, it’s also what they do off the pitch that makes them such jerks.

Jason Roberts (2006 – ) – He lit up what is now League One for Bristol Rovers over two seasons.  But when they failed to get promoted, Roberts handed in a transfer request to a bitter Ian Holloway.  He was just as fickle to ex-manager Sam Allardyce.  Now Roberts can’t find the bright side of a barn door and is hated by the Rovers faithful.

Paul Dickov (2004-2006) - Nicknamed “The Wasp” and “The Pest”, Dickov’s role as a second striker was more to irritate central defenders. At only 5′ 6″, the cranky Scotsman did his job but picked up a weeee bit of fouls along the way.

Brett Emerton (2003 – ) – The Aussie plays the same style as many of his countrymen (Neill, Cahill, Kewell, Viduka): nasty.  The midfielder seems to find his way to a yellow card or two internationally, including this weekend in the Asian Cup.

Emerton, Neill: Model Citizens

Lucas Neill (2001 – 2007) - The epitome of Blackburn Rovers football in the last decade, Neill is also the epitome of the phrase “See You Next Thursday”.  A dirty player, he broke Jamie Carragher’s leg in 2003… an incident that literally made him a marked man on Merseyside. Neill is now playing for Galatasaray, so if Blackburn is a stop on the Road to Perdition, then Welcome to Hell, you Aussie git!

Morten Gamst Pedersen (2004 – ) – Alternating between pest and crybaby, Pedersen made a meal of Joey Barton’s punch this season. Barton is no angel but Pedersen made it handbags at dawn.

Robbie Savage (2005 – 2008) – The Welshman is probably the most hated man in football.

Bonkers Bellamy

Craig Bellamy (2005-2006) - Another Welshman and probably the second-most hated man in football.  Bellamy never shuts up, irritating “friend and foe” alike.  He pissed off former Blackburn boss Graeme Souness when both were at Newcastle. He went after Liverpool teammate John Arne Riise with a golf iron. He can’t stay at one club more than a season and a half.  A cancer in the bootroom.

Of course, one only has to look at the managers over the last ten years to see why the team is built like it is.  The seeds were likely sown with Souness’ arrival in 2000.  The Scotsman earned his reputation as the Godfather of Hard during his playing days at Liverpool. When he arrived at Blackburn he attempted to build the team in his own image.  After the Neill-Carragher incident, Souness refused to apologize for 48 hours.  Just this fall, Carragher returned the favour, saying that Souness’ time as Liverpool manager was the beginning of the end for the once-great club.

Sparky points out the Road to Perdition

But the man who probably had the most influence was Mark Hughes.  The irritable striker was a superstar for Manchester United… but it was at Blackburn that he ended his prolific career.  Sparky — another Welshman, by the way — brought in the likes of Roberts, Dickov, Pedersen, Savage, and Bellamy during his tenure.  While successful — Blackburn made two UEFA Cup appearances because of their League finishes — they were often the most penalized team in the Prem.

After Hughes left for the greener pastures of Manchester City (snicker), another bad boy took his place: Hughes’ former United teammate Paul Ince.  But Blackburn soon realized what lots of people already know: that ex-players without their coaching badges are almost always awful. Plus, the players couldn’t stand him.  Ince had a cup of coffee in Lancashire and then made way for Big Sam, who brought the same philosophy of “stuck-in” football that he used at Bolton… which leaves us where we are today.

A quick note: Even when Kenny Dalglish was managing the club, there were players getting up to no good.  Many members of the 1995 league-winning side were as familiar with the referee’s book as they were with the opposing goal.  That season, Tim Sherwood got 10 yellow cards, Graeme Le Saux got eight, Chris Sutton seven.  And just months after winning the Premier League, teammates LeSaux and David Batty fought each other during a Champions League match.

I’m not saying the arrival of the Indian Chicken family, and the permanent hiring of Kean, will make Blackburn a kinder, gentler team.  But after watching the club over the last ten years, it may be that a more attractive brand of football is on its way.

Anyway, it could be worse.  Could be West Ham…

Brent Lanthier

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by | January 12, 2011 · 7:21 pm

Determination by dolphin at MLS draft

Paul the Octopus is dead. Long live Willy! Or Flipper! Or whatever they call the dolphin who’ll be predicting the first pick at Thursday’s MLS Super Draft in Baltimore.

Anyone who’s read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy knows that dolphins are at least the second-most intelligent species on the planet, so you know the fellow with flippers be taking all the angles into account before deciding who the expansion Vancouver Whitecaps should select with the top selection. Plus, if he picks wrong, the team will send him to The Cove.

Toronto FC doesn’t have a dolphin, or even a first-round pick, in this year’s draft. The Reds have one second-round selection and two third-rounders, the 26th, 43rd and 44th picks overall. Expect our man Ryan to check back with an update on their selections in the next couple of days.

When they weren’t in training at this week’s MLS combine in Florida, some of Thursday’s potential picks were out in the Everglades looking for alligators. Among that boatload of  hopefuls was John Rooney, younger brother of Wayne, who’s over here looking for a job, and generating a bit of buzz. No idea whether they saw any dolphins down there.

In Florida, of course, the Dolphins and Gators generally play their football on the gridiron, not the soccer pitch. Despite a huge population of South and Central Americans, the state has had two failed MLS franchises and won’t be getting another until they can prove things will work out better, as commish Don Garber told a disappointed audience in Miami this week.

From strange animals in Florida to strange decisions in London, where Tottenham say they’d demolish most of the Olympic Stadium if they move there after the 2012 games. Spurs seem determined not to meet the requirements for moving into the venue, but would rather bolt the borough and save some cash by working with an existing site. Hard to see how the Olympic Park Legacy people won’t rule in favour of West Ham when they make their decision on January 28th. Even a dolphin would pick the Hammers for this one.

Ian Harrison

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